Nice Jewish Boy
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The Nice Jewish Boy (NJB) of your dreams exists.
And he goes by the name of Rob.
Devastatingly handsome, employed, polite with an edge… At a dreamy, towering 6 foot ‘2: Rob is a total catch.
A well-mannered ‘burbs boy adorably attempting to be hip in the city, you can count on Rob to constantly run circles around the monuments and in your head. Talented at any form of athleticism you throw at him, as well as prodigious at investing; he will optimize your retirement accounts as soon as he is allowed to. And once he’s on your arm, he will optimize jealous stares from your friends and foe alike. In case you wonder, he is currently aged in the late 20s, a superb vintage that, with time, will persistently open up and intensify with poise.
The man would seem utterly unattainable if it weren’t for his semi-endearing flaws. Rob has as many dietary restrictions as your childhood favorite zoo animal. Occasionally he completely falls off the family-and-friends grid sans notice for a few days, until he re-emerges and reveals he was at bed ‘n’ binge hideaway camp. But this bundle of sarcasm is quick to earn your laughs at his silly quirks, of which there are many to uncover.
No need to search your local watering hole – catch him relaxing in his home nestled in the heart of Washington, DC or at the nearby Target or Home Depot after dark. He’s got a keen eye for new houseplants and new opportunities to expand his personal growth. Also keeps a pulse on financial news and constantly conceives lofty business ventures. Qualities your father is sure to adore.
He’s got chutzpah, he’s got class, he’s got charisma and a nice ass. Most importantly, Rob is the type of person who is incredibly supportive of his friends and is always ready to help a pal out. A man so beloved by his friends, they created this very site to find him a nice Jewish girl (NJG).
Looking for the one who feels like home and an adventure all at once? Hopeless romantic? Hope no more.
Rob is the answer to you and your mother’s prayers.
May gush over babies more than the average man
Warning: Requires your assistance escaping the bed vortex
Nothing sparks joy in Rob more than a new houseplant
Allergic but a friend to animals
Pictured muddy but cleans up well
Testimonials
“The man is an equities savant.” – Rob’s family friend
“He’s a scoundrel and a saint.” – Person 1
“It’s about time.” – Rob’s sister
“He’s a weird guy.” – Rob’s other sister
“He works hard, and plays medium.” – Squad member 1
“Miraculous how the Bob keeps all his houseplants alive.” – Squad member 2
“Completed all of his homework assignments on time.” – Rob’s 3rd grade teacher
“Clammy hands but decent dancer.” – Rob’s prom date
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